Week 26

Monday is completely lost. As if we had a day off or something. I know I did some food shopping. More than that I cannot say unless I consult the dry erase board beside my desk, which tells me, via barely legible things crossed out, that I food shopped, bought a white shirt for Mac’s assembly on Tuesday, wrote a note to Mrs. S about the 8:30 a.m. meeting she proposed for Thursday morning, called the GI doctor, called the printer, went to the pharmacy, and wrote a policy page for my art studio. I do also vaguely recall that a friend of Mac’s came over around 4:30 with his mom and older brother. But as far as the day goes, in direct relation to this week, I am a day behind,

Tuesday is Mac’s assembly. This is an excellent day to oversleep half an hour. Especially because Mac needs a bath.

Wednesday
Sailor has been a total pill today. Right now I am helping Mac look up "attribute" in the dictionary so he can use it correctly in a sentence for his spelling words. And Sailor is crying that he is lonely and wants me in bed with him right now. This after telling me several times today that I am the worst mom and that he hates me and I am mean and he is going to live somewhere else... all because I would not allow him a piece of rasin toast as part of his pizza and bagel and no veggies or fruits lunch and becuz I asked him to wash his hands after I clipped his nails. I don't know what I do to deserve such "love"! And then when he said I was stupid I spanked him. After which he rewarded me by throwing up in his bed. He came out crying in earnest and was very sweet when he told me that, "I hate to tell you this, but I throwed up in my bed." So I got to clean up that smelly (very smelly) mess this afternoon while awaiting a phone interview with Crain's Chicago Business. Then he fell right to sleep on the couch.
It's just not easy!
sigh
I keep reminding myself how much I love this job.
And after bath he stands on the toilet lid stamping his feet becuz he wants to play. There just are not enuf hours in the day to do everything we want to do, especially on Wednesdays!

Thursday is a regular day except Sailor has a soccer make-up during which I realize that the nice mom I chatted with last week during Parents’ Week at soccer is none other than one of the parents who brings her children to my art studio. Smallish world. Sailor and I run to Trader Joe’s after soccer to pick up some supplies for the next few days. By the time we arrive home Sailor is momentarily asleep and I am totally starving. Neither of which is a good thing. Sailor wakes so I don’t have to carry him in. I carry the groceries instead and barely make it to the kitchen, where I screw open the cap of a huge bottle of juice. Aahh, lunch. I can see that this is going to be a long and difficult day. I am on a clear liquid diet in preparation for my colonoscopy tomorrow. It is not my 1st, but my last was nearly 20 years ago and I am not excited about his one. I am starving. I manage to rejuvenate myself with a can of natural root beer and a big glass of juice. Then I busy Sailor with some squshy mushy, aka play-do, while I return some business calls. I sit quietly for this. I need to store all the energy I can. I have to pick up Mac in a few hours and I am already short on energy. I am a small person and I won’t last long without some food. Sailor says the 14 seconds of sleep in the car was all the nap he needs today and I don’t argue. I need the boys in bed early tonight and his lack of significant nap will probably help do the trick. It is a warm, sunny day. Our first this season. So when I have gathered some strength we head out with the stroller. We take a long walk, and I do some errands. I tell Sailor that good behaviour will be rewarded and so he is patient while I stop here and there. And then he gets to play in the school playground. I read. We bring Mac home and I think it might be nice to go back outside. We walk to the playground near home. The one I swore we would never go to again after both kids fell on their heads last summer. I give them some new safety rules to work with this year. I sit on a bench that is temporarily in the sun and the boys run off their energy playing Luke and Anakin. I appear to be “bad mommy” when I won’t push them on the swings. Must. Conserve. Energy.
At home I make them a small dinner and pour myself another glass of juice. Mac comes to the table, eyes his bowl of chicken broth (which was meant to be MY dinner, except as soon as I pour it I realize it is not clear! AAACK! I am STARVING!) with carrots and organic alphabet pasta floating in it. He takes a slurp and asks, “What’s the main course?”
“This is your main course,” I all but bark, “now please eat up so we can leave the kitchen.” While they eat I am forced to torture myself further with other necessities. I must make Mac’s lunch for tomorrow and prepare as much of tomorrow’s breakfast as possible. I do not know what condition I will be in come dawn and I need to be sure my children are taken care of.

By stroke of miracle both boys seem to fully comprehend the urgency with which I have explained to them that they MUST go to bed right away tonight. I have already explained earlier that I have to take some medicine that will make my tummy sick. All afternoon, concerned Sailor has asked me repeatedly if I have taken the medicine yet. When I do take it Mac seems to know. “You are sick now, Mommy,” he says, “I can tell by your voice.”

Mac gets up to pee twice and then joins Sailor in slumber. They are both out long before 8pm. By 8:30 my stomach begins its preparatory evacuation. I am in bed by 10:30 and only get up a couple times in the night.

Morning goes smoothly and because I have everything so well prepared from last night, the boys are putting on their coats at 8:10am. “You have 20 minutes to play,” I inform them. They are thrilled. My mother picks them up at 8:25 and she and Sailor walk Mac to school. I shower, dress, put on my face, dry and curl my hair, do some work, make some phone calls, and when my last two tablespoons of saline laxative kick in, I do a few Sudoku puzzles. It’s an easy morning. I am fatigued and weak with starvation by the time my mom and I leave for the hospital. Before we go I hop on my parents’ bathroom scale. I find it odd that I weigh a mere 37 lbs more than my 6-year-old. In fact, I weigh the sum of my two children together. My mother, for the first time, does not see my low weight as odd. We examine, and we see that I do not look bad. This is good.

We spend the remainder of the day waiting around at the hospital. After 90 minutes I am ready to pass out, and am finally hooked up to an IV. Aaah… sugar water! I am bored, tired, hungry and cold. But I am over being particularly nervous. The prep has been a breeze and the test goes just as well. And best of all, my doctor tells me mine has been the best colonoscopy all day. I am fine. Nothing is wrong. I am relieved beyond measure.
And so I must do something. Not sure what yet, but I am thinking along the lines of exercise or something. Something to show that I am grateful that the doctor found my colon to be clean and in good health. Something that says I will not take my health for granted again. Something….

And so my week ends. It will be a slow and quiet weekend while I regain my strength and the few pounds I lost.

I must say, the colonoscopy experience was not so bad. I didn’t like the starving part but otherwise I can honestly say that if the doctor had told me he’d see me back next year I would have just smiled and said, “Ok, see you then.” I can’t even fathom how different my life will be when I go back for my next colonoscopy in 10 years. Maybe Mac will drive me!




An ultimatum? On Saturday night the boys are in bed early and I overhear Mac make the following offer to Sailor: “If you let me read to you I will let you play with the Luke with one arm until…” I don’t hear the rest but can’t help wondering if this is an offer Sailor can’t resist.